Still alive. Blogging (if any) is done on myspace now. You can add me if you like - I believe the link is in my profile.

I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas (if that's your thing of course) and a blessed new year!

Feeling: content

Today I decided to say fuck endometriosis. I've always convinced myself that I make it through the pain quite well - you know being a full time student with a part time job is an accomplishment in itself most of the time.

But I don't do enough of the things I really enjoy. I let the dogs out and like every other time - Miles looked back at me. And today I decided to join them.

So, I ran unabashedly around my backyard chasing Miles - who was happily jogging ahead with a stick far too big for his little stature.

And it felt amazing.

Not so much now 3 hours later - after having to sit in a horribly boring lab afterwards.

But it was really nice while it lasted.

I'm still alive. Just far too consumed with school and work and life to post often. Though I can't quite kick my LJ addicition. I still read my friends' list every. single. day.

I hope things are going well for everyone!

Feeling: tired

So my participation in the lawsuit finally paid off today -in the form of a check for $250 dollars. It was a really welcome suprise. I hadn't heard anything since February so I figured it would never happen or it would take forever. Considering how stressed I've been about moving and how broke I've been lately - it's sad that the check has been sitting in my mailbox for about a week. I really should get into the habit of checking my mail more than once or twice every couple of weeks!

I can't even begin to explain how nice it is to get a bit of the money back on the shots that left me with brain damage. Since our insurance covered it I think I actually got back more than I spent though I'd have to go digging through bank records to check. I think the shots were around $60 a piece after we convinced our insurance company that I needed the meds, after my doc convinced me. It made me even more happy when the lawyer offered to take on Dr. Gross for malpractice probono for me. Though I already know it wouldn't be worth the time or energy - even though my medical records back it up.

Feeling: shocked

If you go to this web site,

http://www.letssaythanks.com/ ,

you can pick out a thank you card and Xerox will print it and it willbe sent to a soldier that is currently serving in Iraq. You can't pickout who gets it, but it will go to some member of the armed services.How amazing it would be if we could get everyone we know to send one?!This is a great site. Please send a card. It is free and it only takesa second. Whether you are for or against the war, our guys and galsover there need to know we are behind them ... I have done this, pleasetake a few seconds and do like wise!

Oh my god. I hate Flava Flav. But I cannot change the channel.

Feeling: weird

I've officially quit smoking. Cold turkey. Might not be the best option though I know what I'm getting into so it should be okay. I've seen so many people waste a ton of money on patches and gum and it didn't help so much. I've been cutting down the past couple of weeks so that should help as well.

So, wish me luck!

Feeling: good

A recent post about dachshund mixes has me staring at my pup today! :)

We rescued Penny two years ago and our vet and the place we got her insists that she is a full dachshund, most likely a standard/mini mix. She weighs in right at 15 pounds, is somewhere in the 7-9 year age range and has the typical body structure of a dachshund - though her head seems too square to be a full dachshund to me. She was bred frequently (perhaps why my vet insists she is a full dachshund), was not spayed when we got her and her uterus had semi-prolapsed, was 3 times the size of normal, her vulva was also enlarged and at the time she was producing milk - all of which our vet attributed to being bred frequently - or perhaps being bred with a much larger dog. She was rescued (sort of) from a dachshund puppy mill. Someone found her running down the street from one and took her in - and then we adopted her. So we've always assumed it was due to multiple breeding.

So I decided I'd post some pics and see what you guys think! A few of them are really large and I'd resize them but I'm about to be out the door heading to class - so they're all going to be cut so that we don't destroy your friends' pages.

( Penny cuteness behind the cut! )

So I started my summer class today. 8 am is such a lovely time to be at school. I've been dreading today for awhile now.

This class focuses primarily on preparing us for the "real"post-undergrad world. Or as the syllabus states "This course seeks toexplore two elements of your development: 1. skills necessary for yourprofessional and personal growth; 2. knowledge that offers you theopportunity to contribute in significant ways to society."

My first real problem with this class is that I paid 500 plus dollarsfor someone to tell me how to make decisions, how to write a resume(when I've already taken classes that did this multiple times), coverletters!, and budgeting exercises. Secondly, if Tech really cared aboutmy well-being in the future - shouldn't this class be free and notrequired? I thought so.

So I drag myself out of bed and somehow make it across town to class.And the topic for two lovely hours today ... the quarterlife crisis.

Characteristics of a quarterlife crisis include but are not limited to:
Not knowing what you want
Your 20's aren't what you expected
A fear of failure
Not being able to let go of your childhood
Waffling over decisions
Constantly comparing your options

At some point, I had to write down what I would do if I won thelottery.  I said if I won the lottery - I would travel. A lot. Apparently, this is my passion - or my "cowbell" rather.  We then hadto watch the SNL clip about the Blue Oyster Cult and Will Ferrel going nuts with the cowbell. So now I realized I paid 500 plus dollars towatch Saturday Night Live clips - and to be told I have a "cowbell". Iwas also told to just live. To make the best decision based on the information I had and not look back.

I was also told my hypothetical schedule of graduating college at 22 -being married around 25ish and having a child around 28 is a ridiculousconcept. This didn't shock me. Somehow I think I've known this allalong. Life isn't about meeting deadlines and I'm the one that set themso I shouldn't be dissapointed if things don't always work out that way.

The one thing that did make sense was that decisions aren't permanent.If you hate something - you can always do something else. We aren'tsupposed to know what the hell we're doing 100% of the time.Apparently, the problem with growing up is that we trade our sense ofadventure for this notion of stability.

After coming home and taking a long nap I've decided maybe this class isn't that bad. I've also decided I must have started this quarterlife crisis journey at about 16 and it's just gotten progressively worse.

I've always been undecisive ... or wishy-washy which is something I'veheard hundreds of times. I am scared to death of failing. I'm always looking for the better, more stable option. Maybe it's time I learnedto take a few risks. I technically don't even know who I am anymore -so I don't really have anything to lose.

Feeling: contemplative
Currently Playing: John Mayer - Why Georgia

For every free bracelet kit ordered a dollar gets donated to HPV/Cervical Cancer research. 

Make the Connection

I was googling about colitis because my grandfather was recently diagnosed with it and found myself on a site I hadn't visited before.

I decided to see what their take on endo was and I absolutely love the prevention section! /sarcasm

Prevention

Research suggests that frequent and early pregnancy, use of oral contraceptives, and daily exercise may all help decrease the incidence and severity of endometriosis.

Like we all want to be constantly pregnant in our teens and twenties and often! If someone had told me when I was 15 that I needed to start having kids and lots of them to prevent this disease I would have laughed until I cried - almost like I'm doing now. And until the point I graduated high school and wasn't forced to do so - I was exercising daily. I was in athletics for 7 years for heaven's sake and it "developed" in the middle of all of that running and working out and participating in various sports.

Maybe I'm just being nit-picky tonight but seriously - is this the best thing the medical community can come up with for preventing a disease? When will they just accept that they are clueless and admit it and realize their current approaches aren't really helping most of us out much, if at all.